Queer Eye for the Corvette Guy

Every time I see some old dude speed by me on the road in a shiny Corvette, I can’t help but realize it is the gayest vehicle I have ever seen.

I don’t understand America’s love affair with the Corvette. Even the name is effeminate. It’s nothing but a glorified Camaro, which is another car I’d like to take a hammer to.

Corvettes don’t have the “look” of a fun sports car, and while they may be able to handle high speeds, I’ve yet to see a Corvette driver really open it up. They’re too busy trying to get the got-dang thing out of third gear!

In fact, most Corvette drivers are balding, middle-aged stock brokers and the like who make eyes at young college co-eds at stop lights, oblivious of the fact that the co-eds, too, think your car is a girly piece of crap.

Look, Barbie has driven a Corvette for years. If ever there was an argument to sell your junky, wanna-be “sports car” of a ride, I think that’s it!

by Jon Novin; Gaseoustania Tonight

Note: The views and content expressed herein, including some use of language, do not necessarily represent the opinions of Gaseoustania Tonight.

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