If I had a dollar for every time I ‘took one for the team,’ really got a tongue-lashing, for forgetting to put the toilet seat down after doing my ‘business,’ I’d be a millionaire a hundred times over!
But I’m not going to sit idly by and take this kind of abuse any longer! Today is the day I stand up and let women everywhere know what’s what.
Listen, ladies, it’s called looking before you sit down. For years, you’ve been able to use the excuse that you don’t want to “fall in” the toilet. Grow up and take a got-dang glace at what the hell you’re doing for once and the problem will be solved before it’s even a problem!
Let’s say you’re at a barbecue with friends and family. Everyone’s having a great time, eating, drinking, chatting, whatever, but you suddenly feel a bit peekish and feel like you need to ‘take a load off.’
Are you going to risk sitting in the campfire just because you’re too got-dang lazy to spend the whopping three seconds it takes to turn around and get a handle on the got-dang situation before you act on it?
Would you sit in a hot fire just because you can’t get it into your skull to LOOK before you ‘leap?!’ I am getting heated up here.
The bottom line is this: don’t be such a got-dang victim. Don’t be so vacant that you forget even the most basic of skills we all learned in kindergarten.
And don’t get all up in my grill about ‘inconsiderate’ this and ‘raised in a barn’ that, when all the while it was you who should have taken responsibility for your own actions in the first place!
I’ve had it up to here with this horsecrap!
by Jon Novin; Gaseoustania Tonight
Note: The views and content expressed herein, including some use of language, do not necessarily represent the opinions of Gaseoustania Tonight.