All Sides: All-You-Can-Eat

Topic: A Wisconsin man recently picketed outside his local all-you-can-eat buffet, accusing the restaurant of kicking him out before he was able to enjoy all the fried fish he came for.

‘til You Get Your Fill

by Jon Novin

I’m so sick and tired of restaurant owners trying to screw over the little guy! This kind of horseshit has gone on long enough! It’s time to put an end to these sneaky business practices once and for all!

I can’t wait for all the critics to get on their soapboxes, as they piss and moan about the “spirit of the law and the letter of the law.” Here’s a news flash for you dumb-asses: the ‘letter’ of the law says all you CAN eat. Not ‘may.’ Not ‘care to.’ Not anything else but CAN. That means, once I lay down my cash, I am entitled to sit in that got-dang booth and eat until I explode. If that’s what needs to happen before I get all I CAN eat, then so be it!

These restaurant owners want it all. They want to bring people in, screw them over with an inflated meal price, and then hope patrons don’t have an appetite!  But any smart overeater knows you don’t fill up on soda or bread. You don’t waste your time on salad and all that junk. You go right for the good stuff, really fill’er up with choice meats, expensive entrées and anything else that will put a dent in the wallets of those holier-than-thou restaurant owners!  Screw them before they can screw you! That’s how the game is played, friends!

The bottom line for business owners is this: you can’t have it both ways, suckos! Either be happy with the few customers who can actually afford your trumped-up prices, or deal with the consequences of your tricky, low-down business practices. I hope you all go bankrupt, you sons of bitches!

Give Fruit a Chance

by Janie Flahnhoegennloegenn

People like this need to get a life. The restaurant wasn’t trying to “pull a fast one” on him. They weren’t singling him out as a target, or trying to “make an example” out of him. And while I don’t know the actual price of the buffet, I can only assume that they also weren’t trying to “screw him” out of his “hard-earned money.”  Based on past experience, most buffets are under $10. That’s a pretty good price for a meal, even if you only go up one time.

The owner mentioned they “had trouble” from this guy in the past. To me, that says he was just looking for any excuse to cast a negative light on the restaurant, or get some sort of perverse “15 minutes of fame” for himself.

I knew a guy who pulled this kind of stunt at an all-you-can-eat. He would finish a plate of food, then walk around looking at pictures, or visit the restroom. Sometimes he’d chat with other patrons. After this, he’d go back up and get another plate of food.

He was able to keep this charade up for three hours, before a manager finally asked him to leave. Rather than calling the cops (like our Wisconsin friend), he called the local media. It was a small town, so reporters were always scrambling for news. Also, this made a good “bumper” story — something for people to talk about ‘round the water cooler the next day.

The guy ended up getting barred from the restaurant for life. I’m not sure if he’s ever actually tried to go back.

The point is that you have to draw the line somewhere. Not every little thing has to be a challenge. Sometimes, you need to look at things from a “total picture” perspective. Just as a 55 mile-per-hour speed limit on a curvy dirt road is more about safety than dictatorship, maybe this guy should consider his health (for once!) and stop eating when he’s full, not push it until he’s had absolutely all he “can” eat.

At some point, you have to ditch the “forever fighter” attitude and start being realistic.

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About All Sides

Gaseoustania Tonight knows there are often more than just two sides to a story. ‘All Sides™’ explores topics from a variety of viewpoints and opinions, to help you reach your own decisions.

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