All Sides: Day in the Park

Topic: An investigative report has found that land parcels nationwide — which federal, state and local governments had promised for use as parks — have, instead, been sold to developers who are building golf courses, hotels and parking lots.

Auctioning America

by Federico LaDuenza

In the 60s, when Congress and then-President John F. Kennedy approved the initial parks agreement, they wanted to give Americans free public areas where they could bring their kids to play and enjoy nature: safe places where people could gather for meetings and conversation, or just take a break from the busy “hustle and bustle” of the daily grind. Some 50 years later, people are in need of these places more than ever.

Even when land meant for parks is sold, the agreement says that it has to be replaced with land that is of “at least fair market value and of reasonably equivalent usefulness and location.” Instead, these sleazy developers are snatching up all the good land, and offering infested, disease-ridden slums that no one can do anything with. It’s like promising an outdoor arena, but showing people the garbage dump! Ridiculous.

It is the responsibility of the government to ensure that people are afforded a good quality of life. Lawmakers need to work harder to save these areas, instead of pandering to every shady businessman with a wad of cash in his pocket!

If we keep going at this rate, it will all end just like the Planet of the Apes.

Take it to the Park and Walk It

by Jon Novin

Unless you actually go to local and state parks or visit the National Monuments, you can shut it.

Sitting at home, whining about how the parks are going away — when you’ve never even been to one — is a waste of everyone’s time, and makes you nothing but a got-dang hypocrite. I’m sick of people like you getting all worked up about something they never cared about before. Just ‘cause it’s now going away, and just to be different, you get up on this soapbox and try to make people feel bad about progress. You make me sick!

Empty spaces that no one wants to visit are useless, and, in fact, attract crime. No money is generated from a vacant strip of overgrown land. At least hotels, restaurants, etc. are generating funds and employing people, which is more than I can say for these vacant areas, that just become drug-dens and debauchery safe-havens!

Look, the National Parks Service needs funds like every other business and agency today. Did you think they would just sit by and continue to throw money out the window, or decline good offers on unused land just ‘cause you and your snot-nosed kid might like to go to a park one day? Where the hell were you when they needed your (tax-deductible!) contributions?! You were at home, sitting on your fat ass, getting all lathered up — really spitting and spewing — over some other dumb-ass “cause” that you never gave two shits about to begin with! I’m going to flip out here!

The land was never yours. It was never “promised” to you. There were no pinky-swears had between you and Uncle Sam. You’re no better off now than you were before, but you’re no worse off, either. Everything is exactly the same. So quit being such a little bitch about this!

Given the state of the economy as it is, I think we should sell everything we can to whoever has the most money in their pockets at the time. Sell park land, sell public amenities, sell ads all over the place! I want to see ads up in schools, on flights, even on the concrete of the sidewalk! If it’s not generating money, it’s not worth a got-dang thing.

The saying is: “Money makes the world go ‘round.” It’s not love. It’s not parks. It’s not your fat-ass, dumb-ass kids. It’s money. That’s all I care about, and all you should care about, too.

About All Sides

Gaseoustania Tonight knows there are often more than just two sides to a story. ‘All Sides™’ explores topics from a variety of viewpoints and opinions, to help you reach your own decisions.


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