Rolling Rage

When I get into my car, it’s like I’m preparing for battle. I put on my sunglasses, adjust the A/C (or heat) and make sure I’ve got enough gas. It’s like donning my armor: ensuring I’ll be ready for the fight to come. When I’m on the road, everyone is the enemy.

I’m not an aggressive driver, though. I never cut people off, flip the bird, or any of that. I view other vehicles on the road simply as obstacles in my way. If I need to get around them, I will — safely and legally — find a way to do so.

Other drivers, however, seem to take a different approach to the fight. I have come to expect the daily disrespect — in various forms — from these psychotics. You know the type: they’re never happy.

You could be doing 80 in the fast lane, and they’ll want to go 82. You could be doing the speed limit in the slow lane, with no cars to the left, and they’ll ride your ass all the way to your destination.  No matter where you go, what time of the day, what day of the week, someone is always right on your nuts. Right on your nuts.

I’m not going to go on the offensive and lash out, but I’m also not going to change my driving habits. I know other drivers won’t be changing theirs anytime soon, either!

Instead, I’ll continue to do what I do, calmly and safely. If anyone has a problem with that, they can either find a way around me or — in situations where there’s only one lane — they can eat it. And like it. I’m done trying to appease these jackasses.

Don’t read that for weakness, though. I still carry a tire iron under my seat. If you think you can cut me off, or otherwise disrespect me on the road, I won’t hesitate to brandish that thing like a weapon. It’s simply defensive, of course. I won’t start something if you won’t.

But if you want to:

  • tailgate so close that I can hardly see your car in my rearview mirror
  • cut me off at close range, just centimeters away from my front bumper
  • pass me, and then slow down, playing some kind of game

or do anything else designed to intimidate or scare me, don’t be surprised when that thing comes flying through your windshield, you motherfucker. I won’t back down. Not anymore. I’m in this for the duration. I’m in this to win the war.

by Abraham “Able Abe”Aenstograafik | Gaseoustania Tonight

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The views and content expressed herein — including the use of some language — do not necessarily represent the opinions of the publisher.

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