Move In, Move Out

Landlords don’t owe you anything. Rules are there for a reason, and if for whatever reason you don’t like the rules, find someplace else to live. I’m so tired of today’s “go get a lawyer” society.

Tough Titties

Landlords are only interested in two things: their property and making money. They couldn’t give two shits about you, your pets, your snot-nosed kid, or anyone else in your family. If it wasn’t you handing them the checks, they’d find someone else to do so. Always remember that.


Fall in Line

That’s why there are so many rules. To protect their property and keep the cash flowing in, not out. They don’t want kids in their place, ‘cause kids break stuff, you might sue if the little rugrats fall or get injured, and kids are generally annoying to neighbors.

Landlords don’t want pets ‘cause they scratch stuff up and dogs bark, which annoys neighbors.

They ban smoking ‘cause the smell gets into the walls and yellows paint. They shouldn’t have to do extensive clean up or repair when you leave. The security deposit only goes so far. Also, second-hand smoke annoys neighbors.

If neighbors get pissed enough, they complain to the police and the city, and eventually you’ll be out on your ass, and the landlord will be in hot water with the law.

Bottom line: if you don’t like any aspect of the rental agreement, you’re free to take your drain-on-society self someplace else. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

by Che Zelofan
Gaseoustania Tonight


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