Good Samaritan

28 Jun

Hell no, I’m not gonna give to your charity! People need to stop asking that. I’m not giving to your charity, your kid’s fundraiser, your church collection, or whatever other scam you’ve got going.

Coins Spilling from a Jar

Chump Change

Here’s the thing everyone needs to know about charities: the money never goes where it says it’s going. It never goes to help anyone, improve a neighborhood, or do anything but line the pockets of greedy, overpaid executives.

Sometimes the funds go straight to someone’s boat payment, other times to their drug habits, or to pay off whoever they’re having an affair with this month. But I’ll tell you this: it never goes to the people who really need it. Not once!

Dig Deep

Contrary to what people think, I’m not a bad guy. I frequently give money, food, clothes, whatever. But the difference is that I give it directly to the people who need it. I place it in their hands. Not only do I not trust any of these fake charities that crop up, but I want to actually see the people I’m helping.

And that’s the point. Don’t be such dirtbags. Actually get out there in your communities and see what’s going on. All you psychotics want to think you’re doing something good, but don’t actually want to have to see a homeless person or someone down on their luck. You don’t want to actually get your hands dirty. Losers! You make me sick.

by Willa Shaykhs
Gaseoustania Tonight


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